Marriage by Trader Joe's

Yesterday we were shopping at Trader Joe's.  It was a normal shopping trip.  But when we were checking out, the cashier referred to Lisette as my wife.  Well, I guess marriage by Trader Joe's wasn't too bad, right?  At least it was free!  And finally, someone doesn't just automatically assume we are friends even though she's wearing an engagement ring.

On a more serious note, we went to the zoo to look at wedding facilities.  Yes, the zoo!  If we have it there, we'll get to be married by the gorillas and pandas.  Well, the pandas probably will sleep through the whole thing but the gorillas are definitely active.

So we'll see!  So far, it's the better place we've been to as far as wedding venue goes.

I pop the question!

Yes, we are now engaged and we are spending Saturdays for wedding planning.  Phun times!

Weekend trip

So this weekend I took off with my girlfriend to go to northern AL so we can attend her cousin's wedding.  After hours of driving we finally got there.  We saw some really ridiculous billboards a long the way (such as "With health care, never vote for democrats), some signs of the damages done by the recent tornado (surprisingly we didn't see too much but I still feel sorry for those who suffered), and no Asians (the town where we had dinner on the first day of the trip I was the only non-white person at Wal-Mart).

So we got to this town in Alabama.  It has an Italian name and is right next to a pretty sizable river.  Yet, there was not one restaurant or bar next to the river.  It was VERY disappointing.  We proceeded to the wedding anyways.  Well, let's just say I was expecting a cold war between the two families (and within families) and drama.  Wasn't I naive?  On the way home with my girlfriend, we had some discussion on our future wedding (wish I can play one of those coming soon sounds from movie trailers, but anyways...)  One thing for sure, we will make the planning and make all the decisions ourselves.  This whole thing of dragging your family into planning or allowing them to get involved is totally a disaster awaiting to happen.  At least we know what to expect and what not to do after this.

Also during this trip i got to know my girlfriend's dad a bit more and got to hang out with him at a bar.  The man is very talkative and have so many stories to tell.  I never felt awkward hanging around with him since I've first met him.  There seem to be something we can share across our age and experience difference.  What was more was that I know my girlfriend loves to spend time with her dad and it delights to me to see happiness from her face as she hangs out with her old man.  All in all, that was the best part of the trip.  Too bad I could not get him drunk after 4 scotches.  Next time, we should try half of a dozen and video tape it.

Now back to work and await for grad school to start again.  So many of my friends have graduated it will feel weired.

Whity Tax

So today was my cousin's belated birthday family gathering.  We were suppose to have dim sum but because all the dim sum places were crowded we ended up having lunch at a restaurant that does not offer dim sum.  It's crazy how Easter would boost business for Chinese restaurants.  Anyways, my lovely girlfriend was with me, of course.  During the lunch, one of my aunts who works at a travel agency, told us about a great deal with regards to traveling in China.  For a limited time, you can go to Shanghai or Beijing (and their surrounding areas) for 7 days and 6 nights.  This deal costs $49.95 per person if you were born in China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, or Singapore.  It includes all tickets, meals, hotels, and transportation within China.  What it does include was the tickets to fly to China and $50 for tips to the tour guide.  Well, it sounds great right?  It does unless you are a whity or ABC.  For those people, they have to pay an additional $180.  Why?  it's because the program is subsidized by the Chinese government and it is part of its effort to win hearts and minds of Chinese people overseas, regardless of their citizenship.  I guess to the Chinese government, if you are an ABC they automatically assume that you have betrayed your culture or that you don't care enough about it.  Anyways, my lovely girlfriend instantly said, "Oh, a whity tax!"  So that's how the title came about.

What do you think?  Should they charge you a whity tax because you are not Chinese or because you were born overseas?  In any case, it's still a good deal if you've never been to those two places.  Oh, except that the tour guide can only speak Chinese.

Yeah, you have to read the fine prints sometimes.

What does this have to do with my burger?

NOTE: THIS IS A POST WRITTEN BY MY GIRLFRIEND.

For some (yet unknown) reason, people think my dating a Chinese guy is the most interesting thing ever.  I think Sean is the most awesome thing ever.  But we are by far an exceptionally boring couple.  We’re both accountants [Sean's comment: but one is in tax and one is in audit!].  Many Saturdays have been blissfully spent with him watching the Military Channel and me reading something either biographical or about finance/economics.  I love it but it’s not terribly exciting.

I don’t have any issues (surprisingly) with strangers; it’s with my friends that it pops up. 

A direct corollary of this is that I speak (mangle) Mandarin. You would think I tell people that I cured cancer, the way they feel the need to share with everyone.  I’m sorry; I thought this was my life.   I don’t work in an area that my language skills are even interesting, let alone necessary. 

My friend has taken this to an extreme.  I ran into her in the cafeteria downstairs.  I, as usual, ordered my burger.  They, unfortunately, had an Asian Chicken Salad that my friend wanted.  After she ordered it , she told the guys behind the counter that I am Chinese.  Wait, full stop.  See my picture down there?  I’m not CHINESE, I am a proud pasty-American.  My hair is mostly brown with a stray red hair or two.  It is very difficult for me to buy makeup because I am literally too pale for their shades.  No one can confuse me for being Asian [Sean's comment: but some Chinese people have asked me if I am Chinese]. 

Now what do I do? Racial identity/relations are complicated enough.  I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of freak claiming I’m a race that I’m clearly not.   But she cannot stop.  She then tells them that I speak Mandarin.  I do but what in the **fluffy kittens** does that have to do with my burger?  I’m sure these guys want to be discussing my possible racial background at 1 pm on a Tuesday. 

So one of the guys (who I’ve never met before – I eat there all the time. He’s new) asks if my mother or my father is Chinese.  Deer in headlights.  Ummm, my boyfriend?  So new guy (NG) says “Oh so I must be super-Chinese. Because I’ve been married to a Chinese woman for 15 years.”  So we end up having this quick and dirty discussion on China, the freakishly strong Asian genes and which is better: Shanghai or Beijing (he lived in Beijing for 6 months where I guess he met his wife as she is from Beijing).  Just to be sure I would want to crawl into a hole and die as soon as possible[Sean's question: with fluffy kittens?], when he mentioned his two kids (quote “they look 90% Chinese”), my friend commented “oh they are only ½ Chinese.”  Yet my pasty self is 10,000% Chinese.  Ok.  I understand fully now. 

So I need to go back and view pictures of his kids.  While it is cool to have a new faux-Asian friend, this is why I rarely tell people I speak it and only mention my boyfriend’s race when necessary.  – Fries please!  [Sean's comment: no ketchup!]

A day's adventure with my girlfriend

Today, my girlfriend decided she needs to make a Chinese dish called braised short ribs.  So we went to the local farmer's market, which is suppose to be the "world market" to get all the ingredients.  We got the meat, the daikon, the cilantro, the onions, etc.  But we didn't find two of the spices.  There was a little Asian store next to the mega farmer's market.  My girlfriend decided we should try our luck there instead of the farmer's market.  After all, it's not so worldly if it doesn't have CHINESE ingredients (come on, if 1.3+ billion folks use it,  you better have it).  So we walked into this store and the moment we walked it I knew we will have a hard time.  Why?  Because there is no labels on the aisles and it's arranged like any other Asian family stores:  only the owner knows where anything is.  So after 10 minutes into the search and without results, I was getting frustrated.  Even though my girlfriend was dressed in an Asian outfit, no one bothered to come to her assistance.  And as for me, since I am Asian everyone must have assumed that I knew what I was doing.  Then,  I started to hear someone speaking in Mandarin.  I was surprised because most of the clerks spoke Vietnamese.  For a while I was pretty sure I was daydreaming as a result of looking at too many invoices over the week and breathing in tires all day.  Then that person spoke again!  I was like, HELL YEAH!  Naturally, I had my ears up searching for that person.  She kept on speaking one or two words in Chinese and I finally located her.  She's an elderly lady who works at there and I asked her in Chinese if she knew where the spices were.  To our good fortune (which we seldom have with fortune cookies), she knew where everything was!  We walked out of the store feeling happy.  On the way out, my girlfriend spotted a pimping Asian guy.  She told me to guess what kind of car he drives.  He was walking toward two cars that were parked together, one was a Corrolla and one was an Accura.  Which one do you think he drove?

Oh, and we ran into two AMWF couples at the farmer's market.  It's exciting!  We didn't know what to do.   To look or not to look?  That was the question.

Unrelated Bonus for loyal readers:

Girlfriend:"You are so mean to me!  That's not in the Chinese boyfriend manual!"
Me:"Where did you buy it from?  Hong Kong?  It's probably a counterfeit."

Peace!

Qipao and Jade, the two struggles I have in America

My girlfriend is a true Chinese.  How do I know that?  She loves Jade and Qipao.  The problem is, it's difficult to find both in America.  There are places in CA and NY that allow you to find some of them.  But the best are always in China.  It's frustrating to say the least.  Sometimes I want to just fly to HK and get her a piece of a jade.  But that's so expensive!  I wonder why people like diamonds so much.  Jade is much more colorful and more rare than diamonds.  Anyways, just wanted to vent.  Hope everyone had a good day.